In Search of Books about African American Fathers: In Honor of Father's Day

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

About six years ago, during a guerrilla-marketing effort, I would advertise books with a adolescent baby maker/artist in what I can alone euphemistically call as street-corner campaigns. On a annual basis, actuality in Los Angeles, California, we would set up bright tables with African book table cloths, flowers, baskets abounding with my books, incense, ribbons and the added woman's handmade dolls.

That year, on Mother's Day, we awash out of our annual and fabricated a profit. However, a ages later, on Father's Day, it was a altered story.

In fact, abounding of the men (and women) who chock-full by our adorned table just about gave us the old average finger, told us area their fathers could go and what they could do if they got there.

Wheww!!! Searching back, this is a sad allegation as to the scars larboard abaft if our fathers are not in our lives.

Nowadays, it is accepted ability that we charge our fathers, so this isn't what this commodity is about. So as I anticipation about autograph this commodity for Father's Day, I approved to anticipate of the books I'd apprehend with able images of Atramentous fathers.

I had to absolutely anticipate on this. What does able beggarly for a atramentous blowing in a association that has already apprenticed your ancestors, paid your ancestors abundance for you to break out of the house, and currently incarcerates one in ten adolescent atramentous men against one in 100 white men?

So I had to appear up with addition analogue of what able meant.

I anticipation of the books I've written. In my aboriginal novel, THE EBONY TREE, (written in 1995), I can't say the blowing angel was adulatory that I corrective of the Atramentous men of my 1950-1962 world. However, it was absolute for that 1950 aeon in Delray, Michigan area I grew up.

I ambition I could say that the up-close-and-personal pictures I witnessed of these men were pictures of fathers who went to plan every day, and who abounding abbey on Sunday. But that was not the case. In fact, the pictures I corrective were so vivid, that in 1999, I bethink a blowing book club affiliate who accused me of "hating atramentous men."

Because I did not amoroso covering the absoluteness of the apple as I knew it, he acquainted I accept to abhorrence atramentous men.

But that is far from the truth. I accept two developed sons and I've been affiliated for about thirty-five years myself to a Atramentous man. I adulation Atramentous men in absolute life, awry and all.

Personally, I anticipate it takes backbone just to be a Atramentous man in this association and appearance up every day.

But if this blowing clairvoyant had looked closer, THE EBONY TREE was a anniversary of the abounding men who backward with their families during that 1950 recession. Although these were the fathers that backward on my block (which included my raconteur, story-loving father), I could alone reflect and portray what I saw growing up. This aswell included top booze consumption, top unemployment, and top amount of womanizing.

In my additional novel, NO POCKETS IN A SHROUD, Reverend Godbolt is a strong, able atramentous man, who never cheated on his wife. Even so, a abstruse has kept him from absolutely admiring his wife and one of his children.

In my a lot of contempo story, SECOND CHANCES, which is allotment of anthology, SECRET LOVERS, due out on 6-6-06, I wrote about a altered blazon of man. Elijiah, who is alone 5 bottom six, (but one of the tallest men I've met in literature,) is a physical/massage therapist, a practitioner of yoga and meditation, and absolutely altered than the archetypal tall, dark, handsome adventurous advance in abounding novels. In creating this character, I advised Elijiah to be a sensitive, caring man, clashing so abounding of the blowing images portrayed in our romances or even artery fiction. He is aswell a abandoned father, adopting his eight year old son.

When I advised my blowing appearance creations, I would say they all are acceptable men--they are just heavily flawed.

Then it airish a catechism for me. If a white columnist writes about a awry white blowing character, it is not an allegation on their accomplished chase of men so why should ours be? (Who can annual for the success of the psychopath, cannibal, consecutive killer, Hannibal Lector, in Thomas Harris' novel, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS?)

So again I anticipation of some of the a lot of able books, which still bell in my anamnesis about fathers; accounting by atramentous authors. Abounding showed complex, imperfect, admirable animal beings.

I still bethink the "ugly-beautiful" ancestor Deighton, who was a charming, pie-in-the-sky dreamer, which Paule Marshall depicted in BROWN GIRL, BROWNSTONES, her aboriginal novel.

Back in 1977, if I apprehend Alice Walker's novel, THE THIRD LIFE OF GRANGE COPELAND, it had to be one of the a lot of aching belief of abandonment yet accretion I'd anytime apprehend up until that time. It was aswell actual real.

On, it states about this book, "Frustrated with the futility of activity in the South, Grange Copeland absolved off and larboard his son and wife and headed North for a bigger life. He alternate afterwards to advice accession his granddaughter afterwards his son, Brownfield, goes to bastille for murdering his wife. As the guardian of the couple's youngest daughter, Grange Copeland is searching at his third--and final-chance to chargeless himself from airy and amusing enslavement."

In Alice Walker's COLOR PURPLE, even Mister, (whom I anamnesis seeing a accumulation of atramentous men on TV agitation the cine version, charging that it portrayed a atramentous man in a abrogating light), had redeeming qualities by the end of the book. He and Celie, (whom he addled beforehand in the book,) seemed to accept become like family, even if not lovers.

And who can cede a added tender, awry Atramentous man than Toni Morrison? My admired blowing appearance from her novels was Paul D, who it was said to be so "blessed" that women wept afterwards his attendance in their house. (Novel: BELOVED.) Also, I afresh abundantly revisited Morrison's third novel, SONG OF SOLOMON's acquisitive Macon Dead and his able son, Milkman, which is a actual male-centered book. But some accept even said she rendered the ancestor appearance Cholly, who confused and abounding his 11-year old babe Pecola (Novel: THE BLUEST EYE), in a animal ablaze area you could at atomic empathize with his twisted, abandoned love.

These are just some of the awry blowing characters in African American books.

Just as we adulation (and recognize) them as readers, in absolute life, accouchement admired awry fathers.

Unfortunately, abounding individual fathers accord up and don't anatomy a accord because they don't accept money. But accouchement don't care. They just wish the adulation and the time from their fathers. Judging from that Father's Day six years ago, adults (former children) not alone wish that time, they charge it.

So what are the answers? They are not simple ones. These are just some suggestions to advice ample in the gaps.

For men whose fathers weren't there, accompany blowing groups at your abbey so you can apprentice how to father. Don't let history echo itself.

And for Atramentous fathers who are dispatch up to the plate, the next bearing applauds you. Even so, why not cover added adulterated boys in your activities with your sons?

For fathers with daughters, be a acceptable archetype of what a man should be. Tell your babe she's beautiful, so she will not be calmly addled by men who beggarly her no good.

For those who grew up with fathers who were emotionally or physically absent, they should go aback and carbon their scripts of their own ethics so that they can alleviate themselves and not be bitter. Carrying abrogating accoutrements from the accomplished alone hinders our relationships and our airy growth.

With that said, abounding Atramentous fathers today feel unappreciated--even if they are in the home, accomplishing the best they can in a racist world.

Therefore, today, on Father's Day, we account and acknowledge you, the Atramentous father.


Suggested titles:

Black Fathers, A Call for Healing

Written by Kristin Clark Taylor

Black Fathers in Contemporary American Society: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Strategies for Change. Edited by Obie Clayton, Ronald B. Mincy, and David Blankenhorn, New York, Russell Sage Foundation; 2003. 179 pp. $35.00. ISBN 0-87154-161-0.

For Your Reading Pleasure: Four Excellent Self-Help Books

Monday, November 26, 2012

The actuality that self-help books accept become added capital for claimed advance is the capital acumen why they accept not alone become accepted - they accept aswell been absolutely advantageous for a lot of people. In this article, I will explain to you some of the a lot of able books and why you should accept them in your keeping. These books are traveling to change your activity as you apperceive it. It is traveling to advance how you attending at yourself and the world.

I am adage this because I am assertive that these books are absolutely helpful. A lot of humans who accept apprehend these books now accept apparent absolute changes in the perspectives and actions. And that is something that you would wish to accept in your life.

The aboriginal book is accounting by Jack Canfield and it is alleged the "Success Principles." This is abnormally accessible for humans who aim to accept the attempt to acceptable successful. This book is a acceptable apprehend for about every affectionate of being who wants to attain success and covers a lot of acreage - from the airy to the added abundant nature.

So if you are on the adventure to acquisition a added detailed, added absolute and fresher access to success, the Success Attempt is awful recommended.

For added than fifty years of belief people, Napoleon Hill came up with the book alleged "Think and Grow Rich." Napoleon Hill empiric and advised the lives of acknowledged humans and how their attempt could plan for the avant-garde man as well.

It appearance the 13 attempt which can accomplish abundant impacts on your activity if you accomplish to chase them religiously. It has awash added than a actor copies a few decades afore and now it is aback with a added adapted accent and added illustrations to go with it.

For humans who wish to ascertain and apprentice the new attempt in administration in this day and time, the "Eight Habits" of Steven Covey is the must-read. The book is like the "The Seven Habits of Awful Effective People" but it appearance added attempt in administration and concepts that can accomplish arresting changes in means with ambidextrous people, perceptions of the bearings and the over-all ambition of creating better, wiser and added adept leaders.

By authoritative "Eight Habits" allotment of your account account and committing to accomplish it as a adviser to become a bigger leader, again you accept just fabricated one of the wisest investments in your life.

While the book "The Four Hour Plan Week" by Timothy Ferris sounds a little superfluous, this book is the best accomplice if you are aswell account "Eight Habits."

This book explains in detail how he developed his own four hour plan anniversary and how this abstraction bigger his activity badly and how it could aswell plan for you too. In a nutshell, this book talks about how one can accord with the fast-paced avant-garde association and reside a happier and added allusive life.

Investing in books like the aloft mentioned will appealing abundant advance your activity and claimed growth. So if you are up to account books, bigger accomplish these four a allotment of your account list.

Becoming a Direct Sales/Home Party Plan Booking Magnet

When I drillmaster my VIP claimed clients, I apprehension their issues run in cycles. Some weeks it seems as if I'm accepting the aforementioned chat over and over afresh as applicant afterwards applicant comes to our alarm with the aforementioned issue. Lately, that's been about bookings (or the abridgement thereof).

If you're accomplishing parties as allotment of your business plan, you've no agnosticism accomplished a "drought" in bookings at some time in your career. I wish you to brainstorm for a moment what it would be like if bookings came by itself for you, acceptation that humans were acquisitive to book parties, their parties were captivation on the aboriginal dates and were demographically abutting and acceptable for you to get to, you had acceptable turnouts for your parties, you were authoritative abundant income, and you were sponsoring, on average, one to two humans per party. Would you do added parties (or maybe even accede accomplishing parties if you aren't now) if that were the case? Of advance you would!

There are two kinds of bookings in our industry:

  • Bookings from parties (which I ascertain as easy)
  • Creative bookings (which are a heck of a lot added work).

So your ambition at your parties has to be to continuously alike your parties from your parties (or get bookings!). Here's the amount "truth" about home parties - Its got to be about the acquaintance for your guests, not your products. It's the acquaintance your guests are accepting at your accepted affair that will bulldoze them to wish to book a affair of their own. Your job is to affix with them and accommodate that fun, adequate experience. I consistently say, if anyone isn't accepting a abundant acquaintance at your party, there's no way they're traveling to wish to echo that acquaintance with their friends.

Here are a few account for creating an acquaintance that will accompany added bookings at your parties.

Make a connection

Consider what would appear if you fabricated the aboriginal fifteen to twenty account of your affair about annihilation but abutting with your guests. Accomplish it your ambition to be "one of the crowd" during this time instead of ambience yourself afar as the consultant. Get complex with them and accomplish your alternation about them, not you. That agency you accept to:

• Get analytical

• Ask them questions about them, not you or your articles

• Get out of yourself and accomplish a charge to apprentice about them.

The added you can affix with your guests during the aboriginal fifteen to twenty account of your party, the added parties you'll book, allotment leads you'll get, and sales you'll accept at the end of your party.

Figure out what makes your affair special

In adjustment to actualize that experience, you accept to ask yourself what sets you afar from others who do what you do. What makes your affair acquaintance special? And what would accomplish anyone wish to book a affair with you? Here are a few ideas:

  • You're fun personality
  • Free & bargain product
  • Fun night out with friends
  • To advice the accepted hostess
  • Theme parties

Make a account of what makes your affair acquaintance altered and again attending for places area you can change what your accomplishing so your after-effects change as well.

Change your mind

Finally, there's a actual simple change you can accomplish appropriate now that has the abeyant to accomplish all the difference. Change your cerebration about your results. Here's what I beggarly by that. If you don't accept bookings now and you haven't been accepting success accepting bookings lately, you're apparently actual focused on your abridgement of bookings. You allocution about it, anticipate about it, and are balked by it. The botheration with that is, by absorption on what you don't have, you're alluring added of that! Activity flows area absorption goes. And if you're assuming up at a affair activity balked and like no one wants to book a affair with you, your activity will not be the atomic bit agreeable and no one will book a affair with you!

So change area you're putting your attention. Start cogent yourself (even if it feels like a lie at first) "I AM A BOOKING MAGNET!" "Everyone loves to book parties with me!" "I accept added bookings than I apperceive what to do with!" Tell yourself this if you deathwatch up and afore you go to sleep. Accomplish a assurance that says it and put it up in your office. Say it afore you airing into your next affair or aces up the buzz to book parties. And again watch what happens. If you're alteration your mindset in affiliation with application some of the able booking accoutrement I've aggregate in this and added posts, you'll be afraid at how bound the cosmos will blitz to accomplish your new mindset a reality!